The Awkward Chef round 1 - Thai Quinoa salad (gluten free)

At the urging of many, I am actually taking a serious approach at making a cookbook entitled The Awkward Chef. yes, that would be myself.

****EDIT*** since the awkward chef is already trademarked, I'll have to find another title for it. any suggestions?

Many of you may know of my dietary restrictions and constant fight to find cheap, easy food that I can actually consume. despite the fact that I willingly subject myself to the constant heartburn/stomach issues when it comes to eating crap food, I DO actually try to eat a somewhat entirely gluten free and 80/20 raw food diet. (that's 80% raw 20% cooked.)
to those who don't know - I have celiac disease and a hitial hernia. meaning that by all accounts I really should just be a vegan. but vegans suck. COWS ARE DELICIOUS FOR A REASON.

anyways.

this is my own recipe that I've stolen from the interwebs and then perfected over the course of the last two years. feel free to steal it, adjust it, do what you want with it.


Gluten free Thai Quinoa salad

You will need -

Quinoa (found at any grocery or health food store. I tend to buy it in bulk at bulk barn because it's hoards cheaper.)
3 green onions
1 cup shredded carrort
a handful or so of dried cranberries
unsalted shelled sunflower seeds


for the sauce you will need
1/2 cup white vinegar. rice vinegar works too
1/2 cup sugar - raw or white (I prefer white..it dissolves better)
1/3 cup water
4-5 dashes of fish sauce
a shit ton of garlic. like 4 or 5 cloves, depending on how you like it.
A RAGING PILE OF CHILI FLAKES! I'm not exactly sure on the measurments. because I tend to add a handful. most recipes you can google say like 1 table spoon. but I say PUSSYS! go for a handful. your hernia probably already hates you anyways.
2 table spoons of cornstarch


to make the salad -
prepare Quinoa - this is a fairly easy to obtain grain that is a staple in my diet since it's gluten free and effin delicious. plus, if you soak it over night it WILL "bloom" so to speak, making it still considered a part of the raw food. if you choose to do that, Quinoa is exactly like rice in that it's 2 parts water to 1 part grain. but instead of boiling the water, put it in cold and let the quinoa sit over night - anywhere from 5-8 hours, room temperature.
if you actually cook it, it's still follows the same rules as rice...boil water. add quinoa. let stand. easy as shit yo.

chill the quinoa. this is a cold salad. I suppose you could eat it warm, but that's weird. WEIRD.

cut up the green onion and the carrots and mix them into the salad. throw in the cranberies and sunflower seeds.

at this point you can go ahead and eat the salad. it's 100% raw at this point. and tasty as hell. but I like to add thai sauce to it.
you can be a pussy and buy your thai sauce, but I find it waaaaay too sweet and not enough spicy so I just make my own.



to do that - DO THIS


mix the cornstarch with the half of the water and let it dissolve and set it aside

in a pot, throw everyone else into the pool on high heat until that shit boils. drop it down to low heat and dump in the cornstarch/water. stir that shit. it's going to thicken up pretty quick. remove from the heat and put it in the fridge to cool.


mix it on in the salad and consume at will! it's fucking good.
you can also add chicken or tofu for protien, and I will sometimes add cashews if I'm feeling frisky.

ENJOY!