Pants Vs. Pube face.

Soo Me and Crystal went and saw Breaking Dawn tonight. What a treat it was!! I have to say, that despite loving every trashy bit of this franchise so far, that this was my favorite of all the movies. the acting was of course horrible. Kristen Stewart was of course hot as shit. except that for half the movie she had her face super imposed on clarista flockhearts body. which was mildly awkward.
it was a packed house! I even pre bought our tickets, and reserved our seats, and it was still pretty much sold out. I love Crystal for many reasons, but her love of crap vampire movies and her willingness to share the experience with me is one of the main reasons. We constantly mock the whole thing, from start to finish. the ladies behind us had some amazing cometary too. and there was even a GUY there. who, after the sex scene and the subsequent vomiting scene (because she obv. gets pregnant.) said rather loud "OH so they'll show her vomiting but we can't see them fuck??!"
genius.

the sex scenes were lacking. I didn't like any of them. but the part where her spine snaps in half right before her halfbreed vampire fetus gets chewed out of her womb by her husband - THAT WAS AWESOME.

during the entire thing, and I'm pretty sure EVERY movie we've seen together now, Crystal and me bicker back and forth about why Edward is better (as I am team Edward) or why Jacob is better (she's team Jacob). my biggest rebuttle to her arguements through this movie was obviously HE'S A DOG. and he's turned into a pube face. seriously. who let taylor lautner grow patchy facial hair? (ps. Crystal, your comeback of IT'S MOVEMBER made me die a little inside from laughing when I remembered it just now)

so in the spirit of the movie, I've made these photos for me and Her.










Additionally, the ladies sitting next to Crystal HATED us. and would make snide comments about my pube face references. I didn't get the opportunity to hear them, but Crystal sure did. it made me laugh when I found out. these woman were like easily 40. YOU'RE AT A FUCKING TWILIGHT MOVIE. WHAT DID YOU EXPECT???


and afterwords, there was an entire circle of middle aged ladies having what seemed like a deep discussion on the philosophy of twilight. and how the main message is clearly sex is bad. I wanted to jump in their so bad and put those bitches in their place. the ENTIRE FUCKING BASIS of twilight is how premartial sex ISN'T OK. and how if you love someone, YOU'LL WAIT. and then you know, die. but not before giving birth to an impossibly fast growing fetus that your dog boy suitor will creepily and pedophically fall in love with.
I'm real sure that stehpanie meyer, the genius mormon mind behind bestiality pedophilia, was DEFINITELY trying to push her SEX IS BAD MMMKKK agenda when she wrote these books.
totally.