Pants Vs. Observations

when I was a younger lass, I did this thing where I went to university to learn about stuff. not with any sort of real career in mind. I just wanted to learn. I took things like philosophy..and anthropology..and psychology. I learned how to hate philosophers, and their pretentious and often obnoxious ways.. and I learned a lot about MYSELF. from a psychology standpoint.
it wasn't until after university that I was fully diagnosed with my crazies. had it been before, or during, I'm sure I would have found even more things to nit pick about myself.
one thing that I often reference back to, on a pretty much daily basis, the the psychology of attraction.
who or what we find appealing. aesthetics, natural magnetism. all of it. very interesting stuff.
I'm way too fucking tired to delve too far into the deep dark depths of what drives us humans as a whole vs. me separately. but one thing I noticed very recently..is that I'm more often than not...attracted to girls who intimidate the shit out of me. Ie - girls who make me feel stupid, or inferior in some aspect. I guess that's sort of the the extreme side of things. because I rarely actually feel stupid. but when a girl knows how to press my buttons, to the point where I'm unsure if I want to punch her in the face, or kiss her in the rain (or some equally as hilarious nonsense place to kiss a person) chances are I'm going to be drawn to her heels for a good long time.
I both hate, and love that aspect of attraction.

today I mostly hate it. because I'm cranky, and that's what cranky people do. we hate shit.

in other news. I get to see TORI FUCKING AMOS in less than a month. despite my predisposition to hate shit today, that notion makes me un-hate everything.
le sigh


oh yea. and this makes me un hate everything. for the duration of my entire life.







and it's safe to say that ANY girl who can sing "Til the sweat drips down my balls" with such gusto, will automatically be the object of my obsessive love. the girl singing in this video is named Eden Neville. and she's kinda amazing.