It isn't often that I get scared. But I am. And it isn't often that I pray. But I am.

this all started as the flu. with me feeling dizzy. then I woke up with a lump on my throat. then it got bigger.
I'm about to go in for an ultra sound on said lump. And I go again tomorrow for one on my abdomen.
My liver enzymes are sky high. coupled with elevated lactate dehydrogenase. According to the google machine, that's not a very good combination. They thought I had mono. but that's been ruled out. so now they're asking me things like is there a history of cancer in your family. Here's how to check for more lumps. don't panic until you have to.


You never should do anything until you have to right? like you never really question your mortality until you have to.
Trust me kids, I hope to god that you never have to. It's a fucking horrible place to be.