Puffernickle - yes

You know, I can't remember the last time I spent four and a half hours on the phone. Let alone four and a half hours laughing until I nearly cry, and so elated and enthralled and utterly in awe of the conversation. It's strange to me, how things I've previously despised have become new and fun and interesting. I guess it comes with the territory. You know, when you can't stop thinking about someone. About how they smile and how they smell and how they taste. How missing someone becomes more about missing how they make you feel so easy and comfortable and alive all at once.
I guess I'm giddy. Childish and giggly and wrapped up completely in her. In her ease and her desire and how excited she gets over the littlest things. How we fit together like no one else has ever fit. And the craziest part is how I come so completely undone just being beside her. My often stoic exterior melts away and I'm 15 again, fighting off nerves and checking to see if my palms are sweaty.
So often I've sat here on the cusp of something great and stepped back because of fear or because of my own ability to self sabotage. So often I've refused to dive in. But she's the courageous risk taking influence that I've needed in order to dive. And I'm head first into this without a second thought.
I know, it's supposed to be like pregnancy where you wait through the first trimester to say anything for fear of jinxing it. But even the notion that thoughts and words and syllables in text could somehow deter this feeling from us isn't enough to scare me off or hold me back. Fuck superstition. Fuck that whole bag. She's mine, and that's what matters.