A thought for today...

it's hard having really pretty girls as your friends. Because you can't fart in front of them.

Even when they giggle and say oh no no, it's ok. I fart all the time, you still can't. there are actual laws in place within your body that don't allow it. somewhere down the line, in your gut or colon, your body is thinking, jeez. this girl is hot. you may see her naked someday. you may even touch her biscuit. so there's no way we're letting you rip one out. sorry.

you also need to mentally block the fact that sometimes pretty girls say they fart all the time. since picturing your pretty girl friends farting is just wrong. best to always picture them tied up and begging. or in stilettos. either or.

-Pants